@grimview @heckomaku Why are you using extreme opposites to justify blaming others for your choices? Why can't you take responsibility for your own actions? If you believe "important it is to build good habits" & that "genetics" prevent you from doing this then how could "parents never limiting my use" make any difference in the out come. 'Genetics' basically becomes the extreme fall back excuse, when 'environment' fails as an excuse. While these things may shape ones life it is the ability to learn that allows us to choose our path.
Take for example Ruth Batter Ginsburg, both her I, graduated at the top of our class & blamed traditional gender roles for our lack of finding jobs; however, when offered the job opportunity of a life time by her husband, Ruth stated "I don't do tax cases." Similarly I hated heavy lifting slave labor, yet when offered the opportunity to work register, I too said "no put me on stock." Had my and Ruth continued to make pathetic excuses not to do the work we claimed to want to do, then we would have continued not to change. "They don't have jobs cause they don't want THOSE jobs."
grimview
The difference between praise & shame is point of view. Often people exaggerate shame so much that it becomes envious praise. For example we may say that 'rich people just lay around doing nothing all day,' therefor, it can be viewed as 'being lazy is life goal' instead of 'not being lazy.' While 2 children will hear the same phrase 1 may work so hard that there is no work left to be done by the other child, so the other child may try to avoid doing work to have the 'rich life.'
Your truth neglects the fact that 2 people raised in the same environment with the same parents can have individual personalities & even different experiences. The point of the shame/praise is to shape ones view point or to control ones behavior. Only with constant physical enforcement, can the behavior of other be controlled, otherwise its the individuals choice. In the above example the constant control, is the person that refuses to allow the others to do work.
" Your doing it wrong! Here I'll show you how to do it for the millionth time by doing it for you! Why does nobody help! Why do I have to do everything my self! " Get it?
heckomaku
If your environment is exactly equal to another person than any variance in behavior would be caused by purely genetic factors, siblings are not identical genetically and even small changes can have drastic effects. Even if shame or praise would help certain people my point is that there is no way to [i]choose[/i] a life where you can get that kind of support, you can't choose what your parents are like. Personality doesn't tend to change much after age 18 (except with severe mental illness but that's a major problem itself), and you can't change your environment much before 18, if you're parents don't care about you or you have a bad teacher then too bad, you're fucked. That's why people always stress how important it is to build good habits in your teen years, because that is the easiest time to do it, in my case I spent my entire teen years playing video games or looking at memes and I blame my parents for never limiting my use.